Weird Pokemon Fic I Wrote out of boredom (Oh God what have I done!)
by MaitlandJones
Summary: We find our hero on his way to the address of this cute girl he's been dating for a few month's. Turns out she's a Gardevoir all along. Human x Gardevoir crack


_Random WTF Pokémon Fanfic I just wrote By Maitland Jones_

_This is the first fanfic I ever wrote. _

_In fact I created my profile here on to post this one at a friend's urging._

_This is a new and improved version of the story; I decided to go back and edit the original._

_The original used links to video's and images on the internet to add to the story, which doesn't work on this site. _

_Like music from pokemon yellow to meme's and fan-art._

_I removed those links, improved the grammar, and added a few more descriptors to replace the removed links._

_Hopefully the original intention of the story is preserved._

_A special thanks to Nekosaru for grammar help._

_Also check out "Too Late (A Megaman Zero Creepypasta)" it is an ongoing story of mine folks seem to like it and you just might._

Player has been dating this cute girl for a few months now, and she has finally invited him to her place.

He was extra excited/nervous for every time he was with her she would not even let him hug her.

Shy was an understatement.

The Player dismounted from his bicycle in front of the house with the address given to him.

It was about 5:30 PM ,a pleasant sunset red and orange peaking above the line of suburban houses.

A cool spring breeze pulled playfully at The Player's clothes as he walked up the short path to his lover's home.

"Too bad I won't be out here to enjoy the nice weather," The Player laughed to himself.

"Here goes nothing," he reached out his hand to knock only to notice the door was already partially ajar.

He pushed the door open the rest of the way and stepped into the foyer of the home.

The faint 8-bit tune of Pallet town theme drifted from down the hall which struck The Player as very strange if not somewhat worrisome.

Even more worrisome was the trail of rose petals leading in the same direction of the music.

The Player followed them unsure of what he would find.

The path of rose petals snaked through a partially ajar door of a bedroom.

He gulped and stepped through the threshold gently pushing aside the door.

What he saw next nearly made his jaw drop. The room around him was dimly lit except for some pink mood lighting.

In the corner of the room was a desktop computer with iTunes open; it was from that very computer that the music came from.

Rose petals and pink mood lighting isn't all that bad, just wasn't expected. The music on the other hand was pretty weird.

In the middle of the room stood a Gardevoir, and THAT was not weird at all, rather, The Player was seeing weird in the rear view mirror.

The Player stood speechless staring at the Pokemon unsure what was happening.

"Hello to you too," the Gardevoir spoke up much to The Player's shock.

"W-who are you?" The Player asks dumbfoundedly.

"It's me doofus! My cosplay really fooled you?" she asks.

Nothing seemed to distinguish her from any other Gardevoir except her green hair was longer in the back, and she wasn't completely flat.

Her skin was completely white, no sign of body paint.

Reading the question on The Player's face she stepped without word forward took his hand in hers.

It was sheathed in green fabric which cloaked her arms and ran all the way to the red horn strategically placed between her...

She brought The Player's hand to her face, it was her skin alright, but it still puzzled him how it was so pale.

He could even see her veins through her almost translucent skin.

Even more puzzling, her eyes looked naturally red and her hair was not a wig.

The Player finally realized the truth, this was her true form, this was her real skin and eyes, what he saw on his dates with her was eye contacts and body paint.

"You are really a-" The Player started.

"No, silly!" chuckled The Player's Girlfriend.

"My body does not produce pigment. My skin and eyes are sensitive to the sun. That is why we would always meet at night or indoors." she explains.

"This makes it an advantage in cosplay because my body is naturally a blank canvas," she continues.

The Player opens his mouth to ask another question but is again interrupted, " My hair is dyed, it was also dyed on our dates."

The Player's eyes looked down at the dress that seemed to grow almost naturally from her hips.

She took The Player's hand once more that was still on her face and slowly ran it down her body to the dress.

It was difficult telling by the texture where her body ended and the dress started, but he could tell it was made of some type of rubber.

His curiosity got the better of him and he got down on one knee and checked the part on the front of her dress.

Just to make sure he checked her feet. They didn't end in points. She really was human.

An evil thought struck The Player, he took her thigh, but lost his grip when his girlfriend stepped away.

"Now, now, there is plenty of time for that," she says mock scolding with a wink.

The Player got to his feet and his girlfriend drew close to him.

"One doesn't skip to the crescendo, it is nowhere near as satisfying that way," she says bringing her face to his.

Their mouths locked in a passionate kiss.

Holding each other close in a moment of bliss, their mouths separate the both of them gasping for breath.

The Player's hand moves down her back and to her hips.

"I...huff...huff...love you," she breaths running her fingers through The Players back hair, his red cap falling to the ground.

"I love you too," The Player whispers to her.

"Would you do anything for me?" she asks.

"Anything," The Player says wrapping his arms tighter around her.

"Good," she says stepping back breaking their embrace.

"Um...what-"

"Shh," she interrupts him and begins rummaging through her closet.

She pulls out three costumes and lay them out on the bed.

They are costumes of the Kanto starter pokemon.

"I...um...kind of have this weird Pokemon fetish, I would have gotten you a Gallade costume but that would require more time and money than I had at the time," she says.

"I guess I will pick Charmander," says The Player picking up the Charmander costume.

The Player disrobes and puts on the Pokemon costume.

"Now where we?" The Player asks. His question stops in mid air when Gary's theme resonates from the computer.

The Player's Girlfriend gives a chuckle.

"For a second I thought I was about to be challenged to a battle," The Player says.

"You are," she responds.

"Wha?"

"I pick Squirtle!" a voice shouted from down the hall.

Before The Player could react A Wild Gary Oak appeared.

In almost one motion Gary grabs the costume and pulls it on and zips it up.

"Time to battle!" Gary declares.

"This is so hot," moans The Player's Girlfriend.

"Wait what?!" The Player asks.

His question is quickly answered in the most unpleasant way possible.

His groin burned with the intensity of a thousand suns as Gary had landed a critical hit using Low Kick.

"T-thats not even in Squirtle's move-set!" The Player cries in agony.

"I'm Gary F**KING OAK!" says Gary as he uses another Low Kick.

The Player begins to black out.

The Player's Girlfriend is on her knees moaning, "Oh God, this is so hot!"

"This is the part where I spirit you away and have my way with your body," says Gary.

Her face grows bright red.

"Your place right?" she asks.

"No, better. I got the keys to his place, we can do it in his bed. His mom agreed to a threesome," says Gary motioning to The Player.

"Brilliant idea," she says.

Every fiber of The Player burned with pain, rage, and hatred. Yet he could not act on it his body would not do as he willed it.

Helpless, he gave into the darkness overtaking his vision as Gary left with the one he loved.

After what felt to him like an eternity, The Player snaps awake suddenly.

Lavender Town theme played on his Ex-Lover's computer in it's own way way of telling him to wake up and f**k off.

He walks over to it pauses the music.

A loud silence prevails over the room.

The Player felt cold and alone. Where his heart was, was nothing but a vacuum. He was back to square one like many a cold night he spent on his quest for gym badges.

The Player craved the warmth of another body.

Lust filled his mind.

He pulled out a pokeball and summoned his ditto.

"Quagmire I choose you!" yells The Player.

"Giggity?" asks the ditto.

"Yes, it's one of THOSE nights," The Player replies.

"Giggity giggity?" sighed the ditto.

"Just use your creativity be as weird as you want," says The Player.

"giggity," says the ditto.

Player begins to mess with the computer looking for a song as Ditto transforms.

The Player finds the song he is looking for.

"Perfect!" exclaims The Player.

Ding dong song by Gunther plays on the computer.

The Player has hot Pokemon x human action with his ditto on his Ex's bed.

**FIN**

_The depravity must end! _

_I hope you Pokemon fetishists enjoyed your cock-block with a side helping of Justice!_

_Go talk to a girl or something good God!_

_This pollution of my childhood has gone too far... _

_*Cringes*_

_At least I will enjoy reading the reactions and but-hurt that results of this prank fic._

_Please post your reaction btw._


End file.
